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  • Writer's pictureJillian Speck

Are You Sober Curious?

Let’s first talk about what it means to be sober-curious. It’s basically just when you start thinking about changing your relationship with alcohol.

Instead of needing to give up alcohol because of dependency or addiction, you just decide that you’d like to start experimenting with the idea of not drinking as much, or giving it up all together.

If you’ve ever heard of someone doing a Dry January Challenge, then you know what I’m talking about.

I wanted to dive into a few questions you might be asking yourself if you’re sober curious.

What role is alcohol playing in my life?

People drink for all sorts of reasons, so digging into this question for yourself might help you understand your relationship with alcohol a little better. Do you find yourself thinking, “Man! I need a drink!” After a long day at the office?

Whenever you’re celebrating something, do you stop by the store to pick up a bottle of wine? Think about all the times you’re most likely to drink so you can understand the role that alcohol is playing in your life.

Is it serving me?

Does it add to your life? When you have that long day at work, does drinking help you cope? Do you feel less stressed after drinking? And what about those celebrations? Do you think they’re more celebratory with the alcohol, or could you see yourself celebrating without a drink?

Am I drinking too much?

Now let's look at the amount you’re drinking. For you personally, have you noticed an uptick in the amount you're drinking? Does it feel like you have to drink more to get the same results? Have you been thinking that perhaps you’re spending too much money on alcohol? These are all questions that can help you determine your own answer for if you might be indulging too much these days.

Would I be happier without booze?

More productive? More confident? Here’s the part where we can try to picture life without alcohol. Do you think you would be happier without it? If you’re using it to cope with stress, is there something else that you could turn to instead?

Do you think you’d be more productive without drinking? Would it make you more or less confident? Sometimes we rely on the old “liquid courage” metaphor, but do you think you could be confident without a drink in your hand? Have you ever been drinking and felt embarrassed the next day by your actions? Maybe you feel confident in the moment, but the next day you’re questioning everything?

Again, these are just things to think about while you’re evaluating your relationship with alcohol.

Would it be easy or difficult for me to stop drinking?

This is one that you could also test out if you wanted. Maybe try a dry week or month to see how you feel. You don’t have to commit to being sober forever to just experiment with the idea of giving it up for a while.

Think of it as a way to collect some data about how stressed you feel without having that drink. See if a party still feels like a party without a drink. And see if you can find other things to do instead.

After your time away from drinking come back to these questions and see how your new answers compare. Then you can start to make a plan from there. And that’s exactly what I help my clients to do.

We work together to come up with a plan that works for them. Then we tweak it as needed and I help them navigate their new hobbies, patterns, and ways to cope with anxiety and stress. I also help hold people accountable because making change isn’t always easy. But with the right support it can be easier.

Feel free to book a free call with me and we can talk about what kind of support could help you if you’re feeling sober-curious.

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